Keep Shining

Have you ever felt like you're worthless? You just serve no purpose for anyone. You're not appreciated. You're not respected. You try so hard to be and do so much and it's for what? You think how can I really make the world a better place? I have felt this way more times than I'm proud of. I have no idea why because I know I have people who love me. I know I am valued. My husband loves me to pieces and the feeling is mutual (we've been aggravating each other for almost 24 years now!). Sometimes, though, I just get this feeling when nothing is going right. I feel like the world is out to make my life miserable. I have all these thoughts of helplessness and defeat, and try as I might, it's hard to see a bright side sometimes. I try my best to stay positive, see the silver lining to a bad situation, but when everything seems to go wrong, I feel like everything and everyone would just be better off without me. I hate that feeling! I usually have a good cry (and maybe take a nap to be honest). I try not to wallow too much in self-pity because there are so many people who face far much more adversity than I do. I just have to remind myself to be grateful! I usually call and talk to my mom, I pray and talk to God, I talk to my husband or a friend--or even my daughter (she's so wise beyond her years!). They help me put everything into perspective and get my thoughts together so I can say to myself--you know what, I am feeling sorry for myself...everything will be better tomorrow...tomorrow is a new day and I need to calm down. I process and think through these thoughts by writing what I'm feeling down or I draw, paint, listen to music, or go outside and walk and just breathe. I also love looking for four-leaf clovers! Every time I find one, I feel like God is reassuring me that he's there with me through whatever I'm going through. I also just look up inspirational quotes and save them in my phone so I can read them over and over. This might all seem silly, but it really helps me to be able to lift my head up and know that tomorrow WILL be another day and everything WILL be better eventually. Everyone doesn't get that luxury to live another day. I'm not promised and no one is promised tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now.
I read an article the other day (exactly when I needed to hear this!) and it said you have to keep shining no matter what because no one wants to be dim. I just think those are words to live by. There are the dim moments we all have but if you're kind and let good thoughts shine through, you will feel so much better about yourself and the world.
If you're reading this and you sometimes feel the way I do, please know that you are not by yourself. Stay positive and get through the tough times knowing people love you (God loves you whether you know Him or not!) and you have a greater purpose in this world.